Names

elksong, frecklenose, oddstep, tallblaze, ferretmask, stumpy, ferretpad, one, primrose, sneeze

i.

violet-cheeked with scar tissue in my

throat and jagged shoulder blades

that dig into the columns of my

spine.

peppermint lips candied with gore and

eyes wet with tears, eyelashes clung to-

gether and darkened.

ii.

gold grills on my teeth that are rust-

ing because i don't wash them with

surplus camo jackets and bleach-

blonde hair matted together and

ripped at the skull.

black jeans torn at the knees

and loose strings that i forg-

et to clip off that im too ash-

amed to wear because i

wonder,

"what will they think?" iii.

listening to "magnolia" by playboi carti

through brand new apple head-

phones while i tie my noose

in a room where the chan-

dalier shards are broken and

lay over my shoulders, draw-

ing green blood and spinal

fluid.

iv.

i ripped my earrings from my ears

and threw them onto the

ground then i jumped

off the chair and

i hung loosely:

without respo-

nsibilities or

reason.

v.

i had forgotten to write a sui-

cide note to my parents or who-

ever found me in the room

sad.

vi.

i should've written out the

lyrics to "chandelier" by sia.

vii.

i laughed loudly.

how can i ask? when i need you and your comforting words. yet, I see you with others, and i feel unable to ask. I know i should be able to approach you. but how, without interrupting or feeling i am wasting your time.

where do i go when i am in need of comfort? where do i got for a hug. after a long hard day, where do i go for relief. all i want is to reach out to you, hoping and praying you will respond.

I still wish to be near you. your words comforting my tireless troubled soul. your voice like waves on the shore, calming me and refreshing me.

maybe one day i can know how to ask.

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1. Anger 2. Hate 3. Acceptance 4. Nubmness 5. More anger 6. revenge 7. Insanity 8. Ice in your heart 9. Nothingness  10. Its not there anymore  11. Wanting revenge  12. Even more anger  13. Numbness  14. Whats the point  15. Friends  16. People stand by you  17. You find those who trust and love you  18. No  19. Its all gone again  20. The light has died